CATEGORY: Short Story
12.01.2013
Israel: Not Jewish, not Democratic
Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we?
Looking ahead at 2013 and beyond, there are two distinct trends which I see that are coalescing into one unmistakable reality: Israel is not going to be either a Jewish or Democratic state down the line.
We’re not going to be democratic because there is very, very little chance we’re going to have a two-state deal with the Palestinians.
The way things are shaping up, our next government will likely be the most right-wing we’ve ever had here and its common denominator will be the annexation of large areas of the West Bank and ratification of a report which says that Jewish settlements in Judea and Samaria are legal under international law. Whether you agree with this worldview or not, the fact is that most members of the next government are going to work to make this a reality.
The Palestinian leadership in the West Bank is the most ‘moderate’ we’re ever likely to have here and what’s depressing about that is that even the maximum that a moderate Israeli government is willing to give isn’t anywhere near the minimum the Palestinians are willing to accept. And since we’re not going to have a moderate government here for at least the next four years, the Palestinians are not going to get their demands. And after the ‘moderate’ Palestinians go, their successors will be much more extreme.
So there won’t be peace and there won’t be two states.
CATEGORIES: Politics Short Story Social Culture Thoughts
11.12.2012
Mendelssohn X “Das Buch Thorsten” – Exclusive Preview II
Ab sofort kann das Buch hier bestellt werden:
http://www.epubli.de/shop/buch/Buch-Thorsten-Mendelssohn-X-9783844241044/22552
Gratis-Lieferung mit Bonus-Code: XMASVERSAND
In wenigen Tagen kommt es auch auf Amazon und als eBook!!
Yeehaa ve Hanukkah Sameach!!!
Samenspende und Nächstenliebe
Bericht von Thorsten´s jüdischem Mitbewohner.
Ich war immer einer von denen, die sich von ganzem
Herzen nichts sehnlicher wünschten, als
gläubig, hoffend und rein zu werden. Es gelang
mir nie. – Aber kann man denn im 21. Jahrhundert
noch seine Nächsten lieben? Im Talmud steht beispielsweise:
„Jeder einzelne soll sagen: Für mich
ist die Welt geschaffen. Daher bin ich mitverantwortlich.“
- Ich wusste es nicht. Meine geistige
Wende kam erst durch Samenspende!
Die Berliner Samenbank liegt nun ausgerechnet
im Stadtteil Wedding: „Hochzeit“ auf Englisch! Ich
musste durch die ganze Prozedur: eine Probespende,
Blutabnahme, Urinprobe und sechs weitere
Spenden. Eine Prozedur von über sechs Monaten!
- Nicht gewusst, oder?
So. Jetzt pass auf: In den Spendenräumen liegen
Tankstellenpornos wie Coupé und manch wilder
Spender empfindet es tatsächlich als Glück, in einen
der Video-Räume zu dürfen. Ich wollte das
nicht! Ich war echt stolz auf mich, dass kein tschechischer
Billigporno gegen die Farbenpracht in
meiner Phantasie bestehen konnte!
Und eigentlich müsste ja auch die Faustregel gelten,
dass jemand, der sich einen auf eine CoupéRenate
keult, niemals sein Erbgut unters Volk
bringen dürfte! Wenn man sich die Samenspender
so ansieht, wäre es tatsächlich für manche Kunden
ratsamer, lieber mal den besten Kumpel an
seine Susi ran zu lassen!
So, stellen sie sich jetzt mal vor, der NPD-Chef READ MORE
CATEGORIES: Religion Short Story Social Culture Thoughts WTF
08.12.2012
Das Buch Thorsten – Der Trailer
CATEGORIES: Short Story Social Culture Thoughts Video WTF
06.12.2012
Mendelssohn X – “Das Buch Thorsten” (free sample)
Liebe Leute,
dieser Tage erscheint bei epubli “Das Buch Thorsten”. Als kleinen Vorgeschmack gibts für die treuen Fans hier schon mal einen Einblick :-))
Das Buch Thorsten
Ralf zeugte den Günther. Günther zeugte den
Bernd. Bernd zeugte den Jens. Jens zeugte den
Uwe. Uwe zeugte den Harald. Harald zeugte den
Thorsten.
Eines Tages ging Thorsten hin, um dem Herrn
ein Fischstäbchen zu opfern. Da kam ein Engel zu
ihm und sprach: „Menschenkind, opfere deinem
Herrn kein zerstückeltes Lebewesen in einem Sarg
aus Semmelbröseln, sondern opfere einen ganzen
Fisch, so wie er erschaffen wurde!“ Thorsten aber
erschrak nicht und sprach: „Das ist kein Sarg, das
ist Panade!“ Und er blieb stur.
Weil Thorsten so gehandelt hatte, wurde der
Herr sehr zornig und sprach: „Weil du so böse und
unverständig bist, will ich dich zu einem Baum der
Erkenntnis machen. Du sollst ein Baum sein, um
dein Los wissen und ewig stehen. Und niemand
soll je von Deinen Früchten kosten.“ READ MORE
CATEGORIES: Short Story Social Culture Thoughts WTF
04.12.2012
Kosher frogs’ legs, or Israeli diplomacy
Recently, every time Israel has come under withering international approbation – usually for its settlement activity or rounds of retaliation against terrorists – the government reverts to the following line: “Loh naim, loh nora,” which translates loosely into: It’s not pleasant, but it’s not awful either.
When we lose a UN vote by 138 to 9, it’s not pleasant, but it’s not terrible either. We always lose UN votes. It could have been 147 to zero. But even then, it would be uncomfortable, but not catastrophic. When England, France, Sweden and Australia summon our ambassadors to read them the riot act, it’s not pleasant, but it’s also not so terrible. They could have recalled their ambassadors from Tel-Aviv, or even expelled our ambassadors. That would have been awful. But you know what? Awful is still OK; awful is not disastrous.
It’s not only international criticism though. Even internal reports that criticize the government’s handling of, say, road accidents, fires, school exam results, are all met with “loh naim, loh nora.”
It’s not great, but it’s not too bad. In other words, it could be worse. In other words, it can always be worse, so this is no big deal. It sure feels like it’s getting worse, but things really are not so bad.
According to this thinking, when things get worse, they still won’t be really bad. When things get worse, and things really seem to be getting worse here, the government will say “it’s bad, but not terrible.”
“Listen, things are really bad, but they’re not catastrophic. OK, ok, things are catastrophic, but they’re not disastrous. Wow, this is a disaster, but you know what, we’ve had it worse, so it’s really not so bad. We overcame Pharaoh, we’ll overcome this too. It’s bad, but it’s not the end of the world. The sky falling is bad? Sure but it could be worse: it could be the end of the world.” READ MORE
CATEGORIES: Politics Short Story Social Culture Thoughts War
16.10.2012
Explaining Israeli elections through popular TV shows
Person of Interest Aryeh Deri of Shas is Prison Break – making a comeback to the political party he led thirteen years ago after a long stint in prison for financial corruption. But first he has to push current leader Eli Yishai aside.
Yishai, a hardliner on asylum seekers, refugees, and anybody else who is not ultra-Orthodox Jewish, will say and do anything to keep his position, so he’s Lie To Me.
Together, Deri and Yishai are Supernatural; just like the party they’re in.
Olmert, convicted on charges of corruption, is the Sopranos.
Many in the legal and academic institutions in Israel see the return of Deri and Olmert as the season of Criminal Minds.
Current Kadima chief and Leader of the Opposition Shaul Mofaz is Walking Dead, because Kadima is not expected to survive the coming elections. READ MORE
CATEGORIES: English Politics Short Story Thoughts
27.08.2012
Hava, nagila hava, nagila…….
“Nagila” usw., mit a Bissel “hava” davor, so singt man schon seit Generationen und weiß nicht was dieses “nagila” heißt, wenn man des Hebräischen nicht mächtig ist, oder es nur ungenügend radebrecht wie so viele diasporische Pseudoexilanten obskurer Einwanderungsimpotenz. Aber man spricht Iwrith, jedoch nur mit Punkten, aber zum Tourismus und Falaffel und Miets Tapusim bestellen reichts ja.
Ja, also, was heißt denn nun “nagila” in “Hava nagila hava nagila hava, nagila wäh nismecha”.
Ich jedenfalls, habe mich ein langes Leben lang nicht darum gekümmert und nach dem Motto: Wes Brot ich ess, des Lied ich sing, fleißig darauflosgebrummt und wars zufrieden. Kundige Philologen der israelitischen Sprache kenne ich so manchen, also zwei, aber gefragt habe ich bisher nicht einen einzigen.
Warum ich jetzt aufsässig wurde und nicht mehr dieses Wort singen will, ohne seine Bedeutung zu kennen, weiß ich nicht, und was mich geritten hat im Wörterbuch nachzusehen ist mir egal. Na klar weiß ich, dass dieses Lied fröhlich ist und zum Tanzen anregt, zur Horah, dem notorischen isralischen Rundtanz, also wird dieses “nagila” ganz zu schweigen von dem “hava” oder dem noch ominöseren “neranena” wahrscheinlich irgendwas mit freuen, jubeln, frohlocken und glücklich sein zu tun haben, wie es auch in Übersetzungen im Internet zu lesen ist, hie und da, was ja nahe liegend erscheint.
Aber
CATEGORIES: Hava Nagila Short Story Social Culture Thoughts Uncategorized
14.08.2012
My Facebook chat with Rabin killer’s accomplice on why ‘he was eliminated’
Remember a few weeks ago when I sent a friendship request to Hagai Amir, the brother of Rabin’s assassin Yigal Amir, on Facebook? Here’s what I wrote about it back then.
Well, a few days later he accepted and we’ve been pals ever since. OK, not really. We haven’t spoken. Was never inclined to.
But last night something happened. I posted a small photo album of pictures I took the night before. They were from the anti-war-with-Iran demonstration under Ehud Barak’s luxury apartment in central Tel Aviv.
Not long after I posted the album, Hagai Amir left a comment on it. A discussion ensued. READ MORE
CATEGORIES: Politics Religion Short Story Social Culture
04.07.2012
Homo-Spirituality and Religious Re-Birth
“Jenny, I don’t know if Momma was right or if, if it’s Lieutenant Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time.“ – Forrest Gump
A lot of people who have their homo-spiritual coming-out tend to phrase it in nicer terms such as “I want to be more religious in order to discover my roots”. And then usually the claim comes that they lived a secular life in this western society of rotten values, and how they just went after new cars, bitches and other crap, but now they are ready to reclaim their roots.
Seemingly they have lived in between all fronts, torn in this direction and in that, and now they want wholeness and live out of one source.
And if you think that the one who is writing this article here is a Christopher Hitchens-like atheist, you are very wrong, I just come from my morning prayer, right after thanking the creator for clothing the naked, and sustaining every living creature with its needs. BUT I am still hetero-spiritual. I don´t believe that the Torah contains everything we need to know.
One quote that I am using quite frequently is Goethe´s idea of roots and wings as the necessary components in the education of a youngster. As nice as it sounds, isn´t there a contradiction in saying we need both, roots and wings? The roots prevent from flying and the wings prevent us from being settled. This skeptical argument is exemplary for a homo-spiritual mindset. Our true human nature on the other hand, is neither a root nor a wing, but the compromise in between. Or as our mystics teach us, we are half-animal, half-angel. Hetero-spirituality means that the roots are preventing the wings from flying into the light like a moth, and the wings prevent the root from being dug in the darkness like a worm. READ MORE
CATEGORIES: English Religion Short Story Social Culture Thoughts WTF
29.06.2012
What Israelis want
The ultra-Orthodox Israelis want to continue receiving state subsidies, while at the same time not sharing the burden of creating the means for those subsidies: serving in the army, doing national service, or entering the workforce. The haredim want to be left alone.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu wants the ultra-Orthodox to serve in the army or do national service, and at the same time, he doesn’t want to burn his political bridges to the ultra-Orthodox parties. Bibi wants the political support of Shas and UTJ after the next elections in 18 months time, while at the same time, wanting them to acquiesce now and draft their young flock into the army. Bibi wants to buy [their support now] and not pay for it later [when they refuse to support him].
But the religious parties are in a bind: if they don’t support Bibi now, and refuse to support him later, and because of them, somebody else becomes prime minister [say Shelly Yechimovich], will they support her? Will she support them? The truth is that the religious parties have no better alternative to Binyamin Netanyahu, and they know it.
Bibi set up a committee to deliver recommendations to replace the Tal Law because he wanted to show the public that he was taking its concerns to heart, and because he wants to increase the workforce. But as soon as he saw that the committee was coming up with serious conclusions that would endanger his coalition, he set up a secret committee, made up of his close aides and the heads of the religious parties, to make sure that no serious recommendations are made that could endanger his coalition. Bibi wants slow, small, and steady reform. He doesn’t want sudden, structural changes. King Bibi, as Time Magazine called him, is supremely happy being Israel’s Supreme Leader with 94 Knesset votes, a mammoth coalition. He wants to keep this going. He does not want to become Prince Bibi, Count Bibi, or even Duke Bibi. READ MORE
CATEGORIES: English Politics Short Story Social Culture Thoughts
