You probably have heard that story about Warner Bros and Mel Gibson´s Icon Productions co-financing a movie about Judah Maccabee. It kind of makes sense, considering the fact that the Hanukkah-hero Judah Maccabee is pretty much the Braveheart of Jewish history. Now some people say, Mel Gibson wants to improve his image with this, others say he could find a way to put in hatred again, and again others say he doesn´t give a shit at all and just did a business.

In order to bring in some pre-Hanukkah mood, I tried to imagine how the first scene could look like:

(Jerusalem 150 BC. Heavy rain. Man with a scroll in his hand is running along the temple district, his face shows fear and horror. He is hunted by a group of drunk greek soldiers)

Soldier I: Haha, you can´t escape, haha.
Soldier II: Hey Jew, we will do the same with you as we did with your synagoge!
Both: Hahaha. Where is your God now? Hahaha.

Soldier I throws a stone at the running man and hits his head. Camera shows how a bloody Kippah falls down to earth. The soldiers made up some mileage and are close behind him.

Man: Shma Israel. Hashem Elokheinu, Hashem Echad.

In this moment the rain stops immediately and a bright but unreal white light is filling Zion. The man as well as the soldier stop running and stare into the light.

On a white horse Judah Maccabee (Mel Gibson) enters the scene and stops right in between the man and the soldiers. Gibson lifts his head, faces the soldiers.

Gibson/Maccabee: Not enough that you greeks control international banks and the theatre industry in Athens. You entertain the people with gladiator fights and make brothers fight one another. Yes, I have greek friends, but they also say that it is neccessary and must be possible to critisize you guys sometimes. Why do you hunt this man? Do you want to crucify him? Why were there no greeks inside the tower of Babel when it fell?

Soldier II (terrified): He has a scroll, and we were ordered to kill all men who continue to study the laws of God.

Gibson/Maccabee (pretends to be surprised): Oh, were you. I see…

While pretending to ride away and leave, Gibson/Maccabee suddently turns around, takes his bow and shoots 50 arrows in 7 seconds at the soldiers. Spilling blood is shown from various perspectives.

Man (To Gibson/Maccabee): Who are you?

Cut.
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I wish Everyone a blessed holiday season ;-) Check the recipe section on JEWDYSSEE and make yourself some „Jewdyssee Latkes“. May the real light shine on us and sanctify our days!

Mendelssohn X